Looking back at the year, I have to step all the way back into 2009 first. You remember 2009 right? Bought a house, broke up with the longtime boyfriend, and essentially set my life on its side. Yeah, that was the year that set the tone for this year (2010). And to be fair, 2010 started off in a really cool way. In the dead of winter, when the house was not even a home yet, I organized a house warming reunion for a handful of old college friends. These were friends from my first degree at Lyndon State. I had not seen some for about 15 years. It was good to go back there (to Lyndon I mean), even if it was just for a weekend at my house. We’ve done a lot of changing over the years (some more evident than others). And as the weekend came to an end, we all went back to our lives and 2010 was set into motion officially. Mind you we all did the classic “This is going to be MY year” declaration. Looking back, I think it really was someone else’s year… I did not ask for a lot of this. And yet, I would not change a thing. Let me explain…
March saw me going to the doctor for the first time in a long time. OK, I went for a mandatory work physical and that set off this crazy rollercoaster ride that has defined the year and nearly exhausted me. An ARNP had discovered a cluster of symptoms and felt my neck to discover a “slightly enlarged thyroid” and recommended that I go see a doctor to get it checked out. So, that’s what I did. The first doc accused me of being over anxious and still ran the blood tests. My symptoms pointed to Hyperthyroidism for sure and for good measure, he threw in a month long cardiac study (surprise, you have a heart murmur and runs of both tachycardia and bradycardia). Not to mention the cancer testing for endocrine, adrenal, and thyroid cancer. Not to mention, my favorite; Neuroblastoma. Oh yeah, the ultrasound of my beating heart… While cool, was not anything that I wanted either. I'm a firm believer that I should not have to see what is going on in there. And yet, like a train wreck, I could not look away. Yeah, that was a month I’ll never get back. Never did get the results for the cancer testing but I would think that if they were conclusive, someone would have called me.
OK, so this internal med doc could not find anything wrong and so he sent me to an endocrinologist. She in turn ultrasounded my actual thyroid and it’s being destroyed she said. Destroyed? By what? By you she said. You have Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. She said it like it was no big deal. I’ve got what??? Seriously, an actual auto immune disease. Honest to goodness so, what next? Well, nothing we wait for it to die. Then you can go on meds when your numbers are right. Oh, so in the meantime, I have symptoms and I’m miserable and you want me to wait until I feel worse? Umm, that’s what happens, my thyroid dies and I’m going to continue to feel worse. What a great doc you are. So, this brings me up to May of 2010.
The next thing I know, I am put on medical leave from work… Are you freaking kidding me? A month on the couch and all I want to do is get on with my life. To be fair, I did have some very bad days during this month. Still, it was uncalled for. I had to use all my vacation, sick, and personal time. Whatever… Of course when I came back, I was twice as behind. And I was determined to not only get caught up. I was determined to make myself well too.
During that month off, I made the decision to go gluten free. It’s supposed to help ward off auto immune attacks on the thyroid since the gluten molecules mimic the thyroid gland. No molecules to mimic means that I get to feel a little relief. I also added some exercise (yoga) and A LOT of supplements that help with various symptoms. At this point, I’d encourage you to read my other Hashimoto’s blogs to get a grip on my year. It all makes sense then. Anyway, it turns out that this disease is as unique as the person that gets it. For me, that’s really unique! So, where am I at now?
Moving through the summer, I see myself starting to date again… BIG step considering I spent 8 years with one guy. And dating, at my age… Very different. Very challenging. I was happy to get out and meet people. I was trying to have a life and a job at the same time. And then I needed to start looking for another job. Things at my present job over the summer were going south fast. So, now I’m trying to maintain my health, trying to have a social life, and look for a new career… Yeah, I’m exhausted and my emotions are all over the place. AND then it happens…. I get a call about one of my resumes. Within 10 minutes of meeting, I’m pretty sure that I have the job. Sure enough, within 48 hours, I do.
Now at the end of September, I am able to give notice and start a very new and more normalized life. No more sacrificing my personal time and health for an intense and time consuming job. I can now design my job around my life. I could not be happier with the change in career. Getting settled in the new job has been easy. Now at the end of December, I can say that I have settled into a decent rhythm. Life has a beat to it again and I am not dragging myself from shift to shift. I am designing my day to fit in some of the things I need to do as well as some fun things. I don’t’ have to sacrifice weekends and I can actually go out at night. I have a life again where 2009 and throughout this year, saw me putting life on the back burner.
2010 has been very much about recreating a life I had long lost. 2010 was very much a wakeup call as far as my health is concerned. 2010, while it had some pretty low points and I would argue that my Hashimoto’s had nothing and everything to do with it all the same, has ended on a more up lifting note than any year I have seen in a long time. I’m smiling more than ever and I am actually looking forward to 2011 as a Pretty Good Year for myself and someone that I consider to be very special to me. May we build upon what we have started as a foundation in 2010 in 2011. Lots more to learn about one another and I am looking forward to it. Of course, I have a doctor’s appointment to almost start off the year and even that I am confident will get to the bottom of my racing heart and lack of sleep and other symptoms that I have but find it now pointless to bring up daily (I'll just live with them for now). I’m determined to leave 2010 behind as a redefining year and move into 2011 as a year to be happy and healthy!
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